Drunk Shenanigans
by madame of music
Summary: The anniversary of something terrible leads to drunk Dave. Oh joy. T for language.


'C'mon babe. Hurry your scrawny ass up!' Dave yelled over to you, putting on his most blank exasperated look. You don't know how he did it, how he managed to keep all expression off his features, all tone from his voice, and still manage to sound exasperated, or annoyed, or whatever emotion he felt.

'Yeah, yeah douche. I'm coming.' You said rolling your eyes. You stomped over, and laced your fingers through his.

Dave managed a small smile, glancing down towards you. Was that a blush you saw? Well, well, well. This was too good of an opportunity to pass up. You stood on your tiptoes, pressing you lips against Dave's own in a chaste kiss, barely there. You were not short, by the way. Dave was just freakishly tall. He was a good 6 inches taller than you, and a good 2 over everyone else but Gamzee.

Dave was now definitely blushing. You chuckled, and tugged him forward. 'Who's slow now, Dave?' You teased him, with a rendition of Dave's trademark smirk curling your lips upward.

He mumbled something, probably calling you a few of his favorite cuss words, like douchecanoe, and douchenozzle, and followed behind you, thin, pale fingers still laced with your own.

'Yeah, yeah fuckass. Love you too. Now are you ready to get this show on the road?' You said, without turning your head back to Dave, lest he see your own blush.

'Yeah.' He said, sounding kind of dejected. You understood. This day was always hard for him.  
When you arrived at your destination, Dave knew exactly where to go. He kneeled in front of a dark gray headstone, the name Dirk Strider etched into it. It was a beautiful stone, no matter how morbid that may seem. It was smooth, no cracks or flaws in it. Just like the man who was 6 feet beneath your feet.  
You put your hand on Dave's back, letting you know you were there for him in the most subtle way possible, lending your support.

He spoke slowly, cautiously, as if willing his voice not to break like you knew it would eventually.  
'I always thought that he couldn't die, y'know? I always thought he would kick death's ass and send him back to hell where he belongs. I thought that he would always be there for me.

'And then I thought that after the game, he might come back, like Bec did for Jade, or like John's dad. But I guess because Bec was a first guardian, and because John's dad never got a choice, he was murdered, that whatever sick, twisted guy ran Sburb decided to bring them back. But not Bro. I guess because he fought back, because he knew he was going to die, that the game kept him.

'Thought I might get my bro back, Karkat. As much as I hated him at times, because he was never there, or because when he was, he only wanted to strife, I still miss him. Everything he did, teaching me to fight, to flashstep, to hide my emotions, all of it was because somehow, he knew Sburb was coming. He knew what I'd have to do, so he made me ready.'

And with that, your cool kid broke, throwing his palms down to the wet ground, choked sobs coming from his throat, tears now streaming from his red eyes, glasses discarded as soon as the tears began. You knelt down next to him, wrapping your arms around his waist and pulling him into your lap, where he curled into you. You ran your fingers through his hair, soothingly, murmuring sweet nothings into his ear.

'Shh. Wherever your bro is now, whether it be your human heaven, or somewhere else, he knows you love him. He knows how you felt, even if you never said it in words.'

That seemed to help him, tears slowing to a stop as he listened to you speak. He looked up at you, a small, meek smile on his face. You pressed a warm kiss to his forehead.

'I love you Karkat. I thought I should say that, because what if I lose you too? What if I never get the chance to say something like that to you again? I don't want to lose you.' He started crying again.  
You smiled at his sentiment. He had never said something like that to you before, in such a straight tone. It was usually coated with the irony he favored so much.

'Dave. You're not going to lose me. I'm not

leaving you, ever. I love you too much to let you go that easy, fuckass.' You murmured in to his white-blond locks, pulling him tighter to you.

You both remained curled up, by Bro's grave for a little while longer. Then you got up, and pulled Dave home.  
***

Once you got home, you left Dave alone for awhile, at most a few hours, to compose himself. You busied yourself with your computer, doing menial tasks and practicing ~ATH.  
You swore you only left the fuckass alone for no more than two or three hours. But it would seem like more, with the sight you walked in on.  
Dave, sprawled out on the floor, a half drunken bottle of tequila on one side of him, glass of brandy or some other hard liquor in his hand. He was wearing nothing but his heart print boxers, a blush of inebriation spread across his normally pale cheeks.

You sighed, and chuckled to yourself. He was out cold, dead to the world, in a deep alcoholic sleep. Well you thought he was.

You assumed he was either awake, or sleepwalking, because suddenly he was at your side, all 135 pounds of him draped over your own body.

'Hey hot shtuff. How you doin tonight?' Dave asked you, punctuating it with a small giggle. Yep, definitely awake. He held is alcohol about as well as a three year old. Non-alcoholic beer could get him tipsy, never mind a quarter bottle of Patron and what seemed to be more than his fair share of brandy, judging by smell of his breath, could do. You felt his breath against your neck, hot and ragged, as he pressed his body flush against yours, matching every curve of yours with one of his own. You blushed, and plucked the glass out of his hand.

'No more alcohol for you Dave. You've already had plenty. You're going to have a hangover for weeks. And I'm going to be the one that has to deal with your whiny ass. Come on. Let's go lie down.' You looked at the clock. It was only a little after eight PM., way earlier than you two usually headed to bed. Well whatever. The sooner you got Dave away from the alcohol, and into bed, the better.  
'Have you eaten at all since we got back?' You asked him, knowing that he had probably gone straight for the liquor cabinet. Food would most definitely be in his best interests, to help absorb the copious amounts of alcohol he had consumed in three, short hours.

He giggled again, and pressed a sloppy kiss to your neck.

'I'll take that as a no.' You sighed and rolled your eyes. You were too damn tired to deal with making a meal right now. You hadn't slept that well the night before, and were up early that morning. You were ready to drop with fatigue.

Besides, Dave needed to learn that his actions had consequences. You weren't going to coddle his hung over ass this time. The son of a bitch would get to aspirin, and have to deal with the day.

You pried him off of you, and dragged him down the hall into your shared bedroom, pushing him on to the neatly made duvet, crawling in next to him, completely foregoing your usual night time ritual of brushing your fangs, taking a shower and changing into pajamas, which might or might not include a worn cotton shirt of Dave's most nights. You tucked him in, and curled up under the warm comforter next to him. He automatically wrapped his arms around your waist, and tucked his face into the crook of your neck. You smiled. He was half asleep, and drunk, which when mixed together, gave him a serene, peaceful expression, different from his normal blank expression, or the occasional smirk. You ran your hand through his hair, pressing a kiss to his forehead, and drifted off yourself.

The next morning, you woke up to Dave groaning. You smirked, and innocently asked him, 'Hangover?'  
He gave you his best death glare, and rolled over, pulling the blankets over his head, taking solace in the dark.

You handed him two aspirin from your bedside table, and he swallowed them dry. You always kept a bottle of aspirin right by your bed, just in case.

While he lay under the covers, you picked up your book and started to read it. It was some human fantasy novel that Rose had lent you. It was okay, but you would much rather be reading something with a little more romance, and a lot more comedy. The book was too serious for your tastes, but you read it anyway. You didn't want to go through a repeat of what happened last time Rose lent you a book and you didn't read it. She was much too good at passive-aggressive wars for her own good.

After you got through a few chapters, you saw Dave's head peek out from under his blanket burrow. 'Karkat?'

You hummed inquiringly, cocking your head in his direction, eyes never leaving the page.

'Thanks.'

You raised one eyebrow, marking where you were and looking over at him. 'For what?'

'For yesterday. For being there. For not making fun of me for crying, and for taking care of my drunken ass.' He said, sounding slightly guilty, eyes downcast to the crossed hands in his lap.

'Of course. That's what I'm here for, and what I always will be here for. I understand losing loved ones is hard. I'd never make fun of you for showing what you feel in there.' You rapped you knuckles lightly against his skull as you said that last part. 'In fact, I don't think you do it enough. Emotions are okay Dave. You don't have to be stone anymore Sburb is over.'

'Yeah. Thanks again Karkat. I love you douchecanoe.'

'Love you too, fuckass.'

* * *

A/N So I wrote this for that fun little contest I had with my friends. This was my pairing and Fandom. I ship Karkat X Dave like none other...

So the title... I couldn't come up with a real one, and i was just joking around and came up with this one...

Welp I hope you enjoy! :D


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